The following is a post from our Counseling Ministry Head, Brad Hambrick, which outlines what Summit is beginning to do to care for each other in this area: “The grief of losing an unborn or still born child is not only uniquely painful, it is also uniquely lonely. At the Summit Church, we want to help penetrate that loneliness with hope by being personally available. This is the purpose of the ‘grieving mom’ mentor program. A PDF copy of this material is available by clicking here:
Qualifications for Mentors:
- Be a covenant member of The Summit Church.
- Have experienced the loss of an unborn child.
- Able to talk about your loss openly and vulnerably without becoming emotionally overwhelmed.
- Listened to the “Taking the Journey of Grief with Hope” seminar live or by video.
- Read the “Taking the Journey of Grief with Hope” seminar notebook.
- Understand what it means to allow the gospel to speak to the emotions of grief as suffering, not sin.
Expectations for Mentors:
- Complete an interview with out ministry coordinators (primary questions provided below).
- Correspond with the freshly grieving mom within 24-48 hours of a match being made.
- Meet with your freshly grieving mom in person at least every other week for the next six months.
- Walk through the “Taking the Journey of Grief with Hope” seminar at her pace.
- Share your testimony of your grief journey as it fits the materials and your freshly grieving mom’s situation.
- Be available to correspond via phone or e-mail betweenin-person meetings.
- Help her decide what and how to share her experieence with her small group (source for long-term support).
- Contact the ministry coordinator when a mentoring relationship is complete or if it “fizzles out.”
Questions to Assist Matching:
We want to make every effort to pair mentors with freshly grieving mothers who have elements of common experience. While we recognize that no two experiences are the same, and even common details do not create the same experience, we do believe there is value in this effort. The questions below represent the kind of questions you will be asked in the interview.
- How far into the pregnancy were you when you lost your baby? Did you know the gender?
- Was this your first pregnancy? Second? Last?
- Did the loss of your child alert you to problems of infertility?
- Were there medical complications which caused or because of your miscarriage?
- What was the response of other key people in your life to your loss?
- Have you experienced the loss of multiple unborn children?
- Did you already have a room prepared for your baby and have to deal with re-purposing that room?
- Did you have to share with a group of people (ie work, church) and experience a change in your social environment
If there are other unique aspects to your loss you believe we should know, please bring these up in the interview. Thank you for your willingness to be a part of this ministry and to bring the embodied love of Christ to someone who feels very isolated by her loss.
Note: This post is part of the contents of the seminar “Taking the Journey of Grief with Hope” which will be presented at The Summit Church, september 25, 2011. The seminar will be in the Brier Creek South Venue (2335 Presidential Dr., Durham NC 27703) from 5:00 to 8:00pm.
This event is free of charge and open to the public. Please invite anyone you believe would benefit from learning how the God of all comfort speaks to the various losses of life through the gospel.